How Kind Are You to Yourself

Do You Drive Yourself?

Please rate yourself for each question. There is no grading for this except to notice how you feel while answering these questions.

0 = Not true; 1 = Once in a while; 2 = Somewhat true; 3 = Mostly; 4 = Yes!

1. ____ I'm tired most of the time.

2. ____ I always seem to be in motion.

3. ____ I get anxious considering not bringing work home (or taking time off for fun).

4. ____ Most of the people in my life don't understand why I work so hard.

5. ____ I get frustrated when interruptions keep me from finishing a task.

6. ____ On my day off, I have a list of tasks that I must accomplish before I can rest or play -- I rarely complete the list.

7. ____ By the time I do something for fun, I'm often too tired to enjoy it.

8. ____ I consistently leave for vacations exhausted or sick.

9. ____ I often feel that I have to choose between success and family.

10. ____ I feel guilty or anxious when I'm resting or taking it easy.

11. ____ I often miss out on opportunities for fun because I'm preoccupied with tasks awaiting me.

12. ____ I use substances (caffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs) to prod myself into action or to wind down at the end of the day.

13. ____ I feel deprived because I'm not doing the things I really want to do.

14. ____ I feel I have more responsibilities than most people I know.

15. ____ I have irrefutable reasons for working evenings and weekends.

16. ____ I usually do things in a hurry: drive fast, gulp my food or throw on clothes.

17. ____ I often neglect (or forget) basic needs (eating, going to bathroom, exercising) while working.

18. ____ When I do things I enjoy, like eating sweets or taking trips it's because I feel I deserve them for having worked so hard.

19. ____ My friends and family tell me they don't see enough of me. I'm often emotionally preoccupied when I am with them.

0 to 10: You seem amazingly free from obligation and stress. Are you as engaged with your life, family, and work as you want to be?

11 to 25: You manage to “not sweat the small stuff” and have figured out what that means!

26 to 50: Reflect on the statements that you marked the highest. Ask yourself if you might be sacrificing your health or future happiness for being overly responsible today.

51 to 65: Have you always needed to strive and achieve this hard, or perhaps you are currently engaged in a new company, baby, or career? You’ll not be able to keep at this pace without serious consequences to your health and intimate relationships.

66 +: If this quiz doesn’t help you say “no!” please consult a stress management specialist.

Ask yourself, “Who in my childhood modeled or inspired this pattern?” After completing this inventory, if you still aren't sure if you're driven, ask family and friends and listen to their responses.